I'm waiting.
waiting for someone I've been longing for along this year. He's coming back to Jakarta this afternoon and I can't wait to see him and have a serious talk about this. this, is something I can't deny, that there's something inside of me that keeps growing these few weeks.. something I haven't felt these couple of years. I start to feel changes all over me, even the littlest ones. how constantly the last thing I remember before I sleep and the first thing that show up in my mind after I wake up everyday is him. can't help not to mention his name in every conversation I have with people around me. things that automatically come up when I think of him. things I start to love about him. the way he makes me feel. the warmth he brought to me when we're drowned in our conversations. Smiles I can't help to make every time I read his texts. the way way he closes my day by simply saying good night which sometimes could vanish my drowsiness and make me wide awake all night, but still, wake up next morning with a tummy full of butterflies. the way he calls my name. it's so funny how often he changes my nicks. his voice. his lovely voice which could make brain freeze for me when he calls my name. the way he talks. the way he laughs. the way he makes me laugh especially in phone calls. our midnite phone calls. our dawn phone calls. our all nite long phone calls. morning calls. all the phone calls. I could stay up until morning even though I had something to do in the morning just to hear his voice longer. the way he convinces me when I start not to believe in him. the look in his eyes. his smile. his style. his silly and annoying jokes. his perspective. his critical mind. his presence. him.
I'm waiting for him.
I wrote this paragraph exactly a month ago. funny is, few hours after finishing this post, the character 'him' eventually took the big part of my life, just like that. boom. been a month, and it was very pleasant month, and I know that he and I still have other good months following up hopefully.
happy 4th day of the month.
