my nights mostly consist of a series of unspoken thoughts during the day
minds I just shrug off at sunshine, blown out of proportion under the moonlight
they multiply the brain cells to speak, magnify the sound of unconsciousness
it's loud,
I can't sleep
my days often consist of a parade of denials at any thoughts during the night
rejecting any negations, deluded in one single mindset
everything's okay, okay is enough
once it's too much it throttles
I can't breathe
5.12.14
30.11.14
Closed Off
the thing is,
i dont even know
how to handle guilt
that kills
explicably deep
for closest people around
like
to cause so much trouble
to fail to meet their expectations
to be a disappointment
or like
to be unable
to give something back
or to be useless
and burdensome
a constant pain
so i do the only one thing i know
push people away
so i wont burden them
or anyone
unless at all
that's only logical
right
22.11.14
It's That Time of The Year Again
They say, with end of the year approaching, come along gifts and goodies to hunt for. Who doesn't love end of the year shopping spree? Start from never-absent Christmas goodies, wish list of home decorators, gifts for beloved people, and (oh yass please) outfits to wear on Christmas events. For this year, family have decided on color theme. It's White Christmas. My sister came up with this — not original at all — idea. I was against it at first because it'd make us look like one of those catechumen kids — which on second thoughts I realized we look like nothing as young. Lol. So white it is.
Home Decorators
Classic white has been part of end of the year family tradition despite the no-white-christmas-ever here. And aren't white ornaments so so pretty? Earlier this year I got my room painted in all white, got a new but classic white closet, white wooden vanity table, and white blinds for windows. It's kind of nice to have your room bright even with minimum lights. I'd love to make another post about my new bedroom later.
Look at these beautiful ornaments! The touch of gold in the middle of white doesn't ruin the whole softness theme right? Imo it breaks the fragile vibe within the white. AND those all are from IKEA. Since it's still recent that finally IKEA Indonesia has been opened, of course all these cute products I found from their catalogue. Still feel so unreal to know that all products in their website are now within reach. Plan to have a trip there by the end of the month.
Christmas Presents
I've been meaning to give something special to closest people of mine. Little something that's not pricey, but could be a little priceless. Anyhow... ain't easy haha. So far I only stumbled upon handmade craftings for mother, my ipad for brother, a picture frame for father, and sample perfume for sister (so that she can buy the full size by herself haha). As for my friends, I might make bracelets.. or scrapbooks.. or just let them use my make ups for free. Gotta shop the store for little gift hunt by the beginning of December.
Outfits
These grande collections are the thoughts! 60s thick theme where you don't show your skin applies my rules to go to religious events. Not to mention the trapeze shape dresses fits the occasion very well. The Gucci one though is the one to eye because the extra lovely twiggy details on chest, making me not able not to fall in love at first sight. Crossing fingers to find similar dresses in local store albeit the low chance since it's not everyday I run into store selling this kind of dresses.
![]() |
| F/W 2014 Collection L/R: Ralph Laurent, Gucci, Valentino |
F/W 2014 Collection by Nina Ricci
On another note, I also have an urge to find dresses with beautiful combination of velvet and lace since I had my eyes on Nina Ricci F/W 2014 collection. Aren't they beautiful? Imagine the perfect holiday celebration eve with close people in those dresses. This proves me that you can stay pretty yet warm at the same time in such tropical rainy weather. Well, if it indeed rains or else you'll end up slightly sweating.
![]() |
| Ralph Laurent F/W 2014 |
The color is a tough one. I find it hard to assemble these kinds of dresses into family's theme color. Since white seems too bright I decided to be a little rebel by wearing the ivory-grey color outfits instead of ones in white color. All this thought solely inspired by beautiful color mix in Ralph Laurent's F/W 2014. The plum shadow brought the grey alive, making the whole collection looked surreal — beautiful.
New Year
I'm so forgetful I used to write my plans (and homeworks) in agenda since I was in elementary school. Unfortunately the overwhelming works during uni made the agenda absent from my life. Been flying solo for the last 2 years. It's about time to actually get one! Been eyeing this beautiful planner collection by kikki.k, this gorgeous Leather Personal Planner: Stockholm. So beautiful yet very useful! I still can't decide between these two colors tho, the tan and the cloud. Both are gorges ugh.
Beside planner, I also stumbled upon this beautiful minimalist journal from the same webstore. Actually I could get similar book from local store, but this is just beautiful I couldn't resist hehe. Checked into my wish list for 2015!
MakeUp
My favorite part!! I especially have acquired a quite longer wish list in this department. Not sorry at all! Can't take my eyes off this year's limited & holiday edition of make up products in special & festive —did I mention wonderfully themes befitting— packagings!! Since so much holiday launching in blushers department I need to choose one — or two? blushers to add into collection. This is a little heartbreaking since all is in limited edition but for a junkie with budget like me I can only afford one.
Here we go! The first four of pic below are all blushers palette choices. I managed to squeeze the long list of blushers to 4 remaining choices thankfully. Heard all good things mentioned about these blushers all over the internet. People — as in my sister — might ask why do you need a palette for blushers. One of the reason is I'm still a rookie and I need to research more for the best result I might get. Furthermore, the palette comes handy in price. We get more products with usual price for single ones. That makes 2 pros. It's super gorgeous! makes 3 already. and still no con.
1. Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush Palette (LE)
2. NARS Virtual Domination Cheeck Palette (LE)
3. Tarte Pin Up Girl Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush Palette (LE)
4. Benefit Cheeky Sweet Spot Box O' Blushes (LE)
5. Guerlain Meteorites Perles d'Etoiles Illuminating Pearls
6. ZOEVA Rose Golden Luxury Set
7. SK-II Face Treatment Essence
8. Burberry Lip Velvet - Antique Pink No. 303
The four latter on the list are those that comes number 2 in priority. But still so burning to get my hands into these beautiful stuffs. I can't stretch enough how important good skin care is for our skin. I'd rather spend my money investing in skin care regime than makeup actually. And the brushes? It's an investment in a very long term. When you buy you makeup, it'll be expired or gone, but brushes stay for a long time. So I guess investing my money in brushes with good quality — and beautiful too — is not that sinful hehehe..
—
so that's it. a very long list to shop this end of the year. the most wonderful time of the year. Hopefully 2014 will end well!
9.5.14
Before Sleep
sometimes, happiness is all you have
some other time, it is just sadness
but do you know?
none of these will last
so do not get your hopes up too high
but do not lose them either.
night night.
(bdg, 23:58)
some other time, it is just sadness
but do you know?
none of these will last
so do not get your hopes up too high
but do not lose them either.
night night.
(bdg, 23:58)
19.4.14
When in Doubt
these are actually some snaps of my conversation with friends recently.
"Whatever it is, if it's gonna happen, it happens eventually. If it's not, it won't happen ever."
~
"Whatever it is, if it's gonna happen, it happens eventually. If it's not, it won't happen ever."
"Like, really, listen carefully. He has, always has, a very much better plan than what you have now in mind. You see, 2 years ago, you barely had a hold of your self, you were tripping here and there and stuttering each words that came out of your mouth. See where you are now. See around. Your family, your friends. See precious little things in life that worth fighting for. Have you ever been really grateful for what you have now? Do you still have the heart to deny His Grace?"
"Trust His plan. Surrender your life to His Hands. Nothing's going wrong from this direction. Just trust Him."
17.2.14
La Vie
I miss writing. tons of drafts ended up not being posted because reasons.
so how's life?
what are you doing today.
what did you do yesterday, last week, last month, last year.
and what will you do tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
is it worth it?
1.1.14
24.8.13
Good bye Summer
September is around the corner already, which means 7th semester is gearing to start. Having days off since may 20ish that made my summer break was exactly 3 months long. it is long.. and I can't recall day by day how it's spent, but overall, it's spent well I guess.
let's not fear this upcoming last year of college and try to embrace it with... um.. hmm, smile? eh.
let's not fear this upcoming last year of college and try to embrace it with... um.. hmm, smile? eh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)














































































