rethorical

to him

what if
that day,
I brought my book
that would stop me
from an unavoidable meeting

where would I stand right now
what would my life turn to be

would I be happy,
or sad instead

would he be happier,
or sadder instead

I probably wouldn't feel this pain, 
wouldn't be this damaged
wouldn't be this twisty

but definitely
I also wouldn't have tasted real happiness
wouldn't feel blessed 
to ever know how to love someone wholeheartedly
to feel loved
to know him, 
to be given excessive amount of joy, and warmth