If I Fell

If I fell in love with you

would you promise to be true?

and help me understand

cos I've been in love before

and I've found that love was more than just holding hands

if I give my heart to you

I must be sure from the very start

that you would love me more than her

if I trust in you oh please don't run and hide

if I love you too

oh please don't hurt my pride like her

cos I couldn't stand the pain

and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see

that I would love to love you...

(originally sung by The Beatles, in this video performed by Evan Rachel Wood)

Men Are So Hard to be Trusted

it's like they have the ability of faking the whole relationship, making the women falling in love with them, and leaving just like that. you know what's the problem here? their dignity and pride always comes first, right before their hearts.

Dear Santa

busy there? hm okay.. I shud've even asked. it's Christmas weeks, you're probably getting turned upside down by the uncountable letters sent to you every single day from people all over the world. it's just... it's been my tradition to write my christmas list every year to you, and now I've already turned 18 I still can't help to make another list. is this what other people usually call juvenile or childish? or maybe it's just my way to figure out things about what I want and what I need? oh well who cares anyway. I'll still keep on writing and finish this list for you.

...and yeah. it took so long time to get here from the first paragraph. so many things happened this year... whether it's a good thing or bad. it's still fresh on my mind how I kept bugging you last christmas with the college thingy wishes. how I wished to get accepted in my dream institute of technology, and graduate from senior high with, not best, not great, but just fine score, and that was pretty enough for me. and yeah everything went well after that. but for this Christmas, to be honest I've been longing to so many things. education, health, family, friends, and even love. but then it came up to my mind, that those so many wishes have a same outline. by sorting out things on its priority, they all basically have the same purpose.

bottomline, all I want for Christmas is.....happiness.
my parents, sister, brother, and friends to be simply happy. and if you ask me "is that it?', I'll answer it with "that's everything."

sincerely,
me.

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap

IT'S XMAS WEEKS!

how I love Christmas and everything about Christmas.
songs, movies, decoration, and especially the atmosphere.
so let's decorate our house, put the xmas tree, and set our song playlists with Christmas songs. (recommending you the Glee Christmas Album!)


deck the rooftop, IT'S CHRISTMAAAS!

Nothing Will Stop You From Trying

just look around my drafts and found this oracle. surprisingly interestingly true at some points. heck, I forget from where I got this prognosis. but this is just sanely true:

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. 

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: you are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. 

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. 

The seriousness of your love: Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. 

Your views on education: You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. 

The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. 

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.  

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

Fate

People say that to fixed and certain chapter life is already set. for what happens as the result is always same whether we do something that way, or another way. decisions were already made. that's why for certain, if something has become your destiny since the very beginning, no matter what could've possibly happened, your destiny will still occur at the right exact time.

no matter what.

Morning-Unnecessary-Talk

my desktop clock shows that it's 8.30 in the morning. it's Thursday anyway. I used to be at college at this time.. but since my physics practicum has all done for this semester, I get morning free time every Thursday. but hell yeah, still got the Programing Introduction practicum at 11. how lame. college life mess me up. to be exact, college life mess my sleeping schedule and eat habit up. I slept at 1 am and woke up at 5 almost everyday these months.  seems to me that 6 hours of sleeping has become a luxury and precious stuff for students nowadays. but it's okay. complain and give up? am just way over them since this college has been my dream like ever....... well maybe I just need lil courage and support honestly. haha who doesn't anyway? I am so gonna be just fine, pals.

busy with college stuff, makes me missing my friends especially high school friends even more. funny though, every time I get the chance just even to chat with them, they always come up with the same exact question........ my love life. not that extrovert, I couldn't really say or just express what I truly feel inside. that's why my friends are a bit curious how this silly introvert girl's life goes so far.
and okay, the answer is.. perhaps plain.. flat.. you name it, whatever. I get some crushes, lose some crushes, and keep 'come and go' like that. long story short.. zero boyfriend potential. haha seriously. they say I couldn't fall for man that easily, but once I really fall for a man, well, you really got my eyes on you, boy. and that's the big shortfall of mine. shoot.

move on from love life, am having physic final test this Friday --which is tomorrow-- and feel totally helpless and insecure about the test... but the good news is that.... Christmas is coming to town. wohooo can't wait for euphoria. just so you know.. Christmas is my 2nd favorite day of the year after my birthday --again, who doesn't?-- sooo, maybe  that's all. it's so uncommon thing for me to write such a long post this early. gotta go to programing practicum then.

guten morgen.

Just So You Know..

Life in Points

• having this ugly first midterm test in college, which has an unique system by being scheduled on every Friday per lesson
• it is literally ugly even I feel like getting slapped every Friday when reading the question papers
• hectic hectic college days
• crazy over How I Met Your Mother
• becoming more movie buff and can't stand watching those drop dead great old movies
• gaining weights and so happy I have my cheeks back
• new hair cut; the shorter the sexier
• frigging excited about the Christmas Plan
• Lusting over a new pocket camera; or better said polaroid
• busting on these new Paulo Coelho books, woohoo!
• happily and enjoyably still mingling among new cool friends around
• and...... just like that, enjoying life much more than before

or long story short: life in a point? happy:) thank God.

Paradise Island

September 2010, Bali.

I'm coming HOLI...wait for it...DAY!

well, holiday is coming 2 weeks damn straight, sweet baby. I couldn't help but feeling the big excitement leaving these so many papers, assignments, and tests. man, holiday. that word becomes such a precious and luxury thing for student like us.
p.s.: doesn't having a getaway to the paradise island for 5 days sounds fun? BALI!

Paris Van Java on Saturday

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I'll ask the clouds

to bring the rain for you today

so you can cry

-Ne Yo

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Weekend spent in very enjoyable way with some friends from Bridging Program ITB 2010. they're kind of delightful & funny people, even I can't stop laughing at a time. That evening was cloudy and heavenly drizzling. Paris Van Java also was not so crowded so that we could make a special space in H.E.M.A. Dutch Resto and keep laughing. it was fine. everything seemed so fine. how I wish I could be at least fine too, but no, ironically I'm not.

Let's Get Over and Back To Bussiness

hello Mr. Right. come here find me.

Simply Alive

in this mere world, nothing is permanent but changes. so by that simple statement, I hereby have a wish about self-change. cliche stuff. being more mature and less complaining things. more thankful. get a full control of self emotion. start seeing things from the positive perspectives. and so many tiny little cliche things else. ain't easy, but worth trying. these thoughts just peep out some days ago. the fairytale of childhood was over, and here I am facing the next phase of life in the 18th year of breathing this air. bottomline, I just wanna feel more ecstatic and enjoy my own life. is that too much to ask?

you know, if you want life to love you, love your life first. simply alive.

and that's everything.

Dear The Best Best Father In The Universe

sincerely, the worst daughter you've ever imagined.